Balancing Privileges and Consequences - Your Health and Fitness ...

The first question that every parent has in mind when their children reach the teenage age is ?how do I establish rules that my child will follow?? When your child hits adolescence, it can be very frustrating for you because they push, prod and run beyond the boundaries you have set up in your home. Some teenage children have absolutely no respect for parental policies at this stage of their lives. In such situations, parents become clueless on how to control their children and get them to follow certain guidelines. The best place for you, as parents, to begin dealing with this issue is to establish a balance of privileges and consequences for the rules in your home.

As much as rules without a relationship can lead to a rebellion, a relationship without rules could possible lead to chaos. You need to have rules and boundaries to protect your children from going out of hand and as a result getting themselves hurt. Before you set out any rules, think about it and make sure they are practical, attainable and beneficial for your child. A rule that has no clear purpose is fit to be thrown out the window.

Rules basically help a teenager from making bad choices and getting hurt in return. Rules are not meant to be a burden to your child and make them feel as if you are forcing your authority on them. If your teenage child is testing, ignoring or pushing the rules that you have set in place, sit down and explain to him/her the reason why you have set certain boundaries. Show how your parenting principles will help them go far ahead in life and make them realise that when they break a rule, what they are actually doing is going against themselves. Being rebellious will not take them anywhere in life. But by following rules, they can reach places.

If the rules of your house have a clear purpose, you have to now assign consequences for your child if he/she steps outside the boundary lines. Disrespect, dishonesty, abuse, broken curfews, failure in school, sexual experimentation, stealing and other such offences should have a penalty in place. Penalties should be clear and specific to the offence. Having your child grounded, taking away his her car or mobile phone are some examples of penalties you can place on your teenage child. When you put a penalty on your child, don?t ever make the mistake of going back on it. If your child?s behaviour has led to him/her being grounded for a week, don?t let him/her go out of the house after three-four days ? stick to the one week penalty. Having sympathy on your child and letting him/her off the hook is not going to be beneficial for either of you.

Once the consequences have been established, balance them out with positive reinforcement ? privileges. When your child shows maturity, responsibility and other such positive changes, reward them with video games, dinner outings, parties, holidays, new clothes, and so on. Furthermore, by placing privileges for your child, you have the leverage of enforcing consequences on them.

You have to use rules, Privileges and Consequences?? all together if you really want them to work on your child. Cover these up with unconditional love and grace to create a flourishing atmosphere for your teen.

Source: http://healthable.org/balancing-privileges-and-consequences/

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